Who doesn’t want to go to a romantic dinner? Who doesn’t want to organize last and the grand Bachelor party? And who doesn’t want to go to Prom Night? Of Course everyone! You too want to walk down the aisle in a classic way. Announcing those life-changing vows is always one’s dream. You are the Love Master of your gang, but then you are still single.
I have read all those love magazines and dating tips but still can’t answer why I am still single at the end of the day. Already 22? But don’t have anyone to share time and emotions with. These might be the true and practical reasons for you being single but not ready to mingle.
You set your standards
No one but you is the one who is growing the list!
There are so many limits and standards in your note that you will keep on searching the Mr. and Ms. Right. The love of your life might be right behind your desk in your class. But then he doesn’t fit into your love hacking list. Your choices are really cheesy like I need a tall guy, she doesn’t meet my family standard, and he’s not modern enough to fit in my gang. I mean really, why you are letting your standards lose the right person. Never ever complain being single unless you go on keeping your high standard ego inside your pocket. Stop limiting yourself to a type!
You are afraid of commitment
The most probable reason for your lonely coffee date is commitment thing. Marriage vows are very far for you if you are already scared of the committing to a partner. The relationship has to be deeper and not a fling. If you really want to have someone you love then there got to be a large investment in time, emotions, and energy. And of course, everyone is afraid of emotional breakdown. You are afraid of being loyal. There is a big box in the back of your mind, “What if I commit and the other person doesn’t?” So what? Let them not commit. First of all be ready to 200% loyal, that’s the greatest commitment. You don’t have to be a cool dude trying to maintain multiple affairs at the same time. And yes! Being Loyal and Committed Never Goes Out of Style.
You are not a lover, but a dealer
You are the one taking the relationship to a business contract. What if I care him and he doesn’t care me back? Oh gosh! I gifted her diamond ring on her birthday and here I am left with a “KING and QUEEN” T-shirt on my birthday. He doesn’t love him like I do. Yes, some people are not good at showering love that doesn’t mean you have to always be in a give-give relationship.
Sometimes, you might be missing something and he might be feeling that thing. Other time you might be giving a thing and she might have forgotten. Take relationship in this way if you don’t want to be single. Don’t keep that dealing crap in your brain.
Because you are still over your Ex
You had a super awesome relationship in the past. Things didn’t go well and here you are single. That doesn’t imply you always have to think about the past. Get over your Ex and grab a spoon. Don’t think about the bunch of questions: What if he also betrays me? What if she also turns out to be a lesbian? I don’t want to be left all over alone after spending time with someone. If you meet someone who’s interested in you give a shot. You never know life surprises with a heap of miracles.Is there’s an emotional baggage remaining from a previous relationship? If yes, then let it go with you every breath before jumping into a new one. Or maybe you still care and love a person who doesn’t even think of you.
You don’t live in present
This is the reason that doesn’t let to jump into a relationship. Enjoying the moment gives you the most out of anything. Soon after you see someone the big pendulum starts swinging. And with each swing, the pendulum says, will she be forever partner? What if he will not marry me? Will my parents like her?
Why so many questions? Just enjoy the moment. Feel the best and leave the rest. Let’s think like this: If everything is fine and Okay till now then it’s going to be fine along the way. So stop swinging your mind and start an awesome affair that you really want.
Get over yourself
The reason might be you love yourself way too much. You are really obsessive about being hurt. Don’t be afraid of welcoming something daring to your soul. That dare might change the way you think. Your parents might have sophisticated you with all your desires and you expect the same thing in the relationship-to-come. Don’t always love and pamper yourself there might be someone waiting to pet you. A relationship isn’t all about what you want all the time. So you need to start thinking towards caring more about the one who is interested in you than yourself. Don’t get stuck in only caring about yourself, and expect a guy to baby doe over you, follow you, haunt you, take you to romantic dates while you do nothing for him.
You don’t want love, you want attachment
This is a big reason for your single life. We mistake the idea of love for attachment. We think that the grasping and clinging in our relationship shows that we love. But please mark it, it is just an attachment. You keep thinking about the attachment and you fell up all alone. The more you think about grasping, the more you are afraid of losing. And eventually, No Love! No Affair!
Attachment says, “I love you hard so I want you to love me even harder and make me happy.” Love is contrary to this. And Love says, “I love you, therefore, I want you to be happy.” If that love includes me, “Oh how great I am!”, and if that doesn’t include me, “I just want your happiness.” What if all of us start our relationship thinking this way?
Therefore think love as a firm gesture and start loving someone without so-called-attachment. If you imagine love as a gentle flow, you will not suffer.
You need a giver, not a lover
Baby, you are still single because you need something from another person and don’t want to give in return. You want your lover to be your servant. Be a grown-up child. Don’t always expect your boyfriend/girlfriend to treat you like a queen of England. Your lover is there to love you not treat you. You consider that if you will fall in love you princess or you prince charming should always be by your side. That’s totally wrong my dear.
Your nature is shallow
This one is a different side of being single than having set high standards. Being shallow means you’re in a mood to give a time if and only if they can offer you something in return. And this has nothing to do with unconditional love and support. It’s all about romantic dates, fancy dinners, adventurous trips, designer bags, and other materialistic things that amaze you. Make sure that relationship is not laid on these grounds. Change yourself if you don’t want to be single.
How to change: Be honest with yourself and ask: Do I really want late night dates? Do I really want fancy dinner series? Keep the knowledge in your mind that, at the end, all that matters is, understanding each other. Will it be okay if his/her lavish job went away, the gifts stopped, no more fancy dinners and the adventurous trips will never happen, would you be okay staying home and watching TV together?
You are impatient and give up fast
Maybe you have been in a toxic relationship in the past. Maybe you crack in your heart, some mischievous dates, or no good response. For these reasons don’t lose yourself and say, “I give up, Love doesn’t exist.” Every person you meet shouldn’t be a perfect date. You can always take a lesson out of bad past. Therefore let all those experience be a learning experience, and move forward. Stop leaning on something that is just your opinion.
Believe in a miracle, one fine day you’ll meet someone you love sooner. Be patient, and believe in the magic of love.